Full House
by DGWRLS
Summary: Nani is fed up with Stitch and his cousins always breaking stuff, so after the pull the final straw and destroy the house. She kicks them out. Now they must learn how to live with each other without trying to rip each other to shreds.


_**(A/N: I just have to get this story out, it has been bugging me for a long time.)**_

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Lilo & Stitch_**

**Chapter 1**

**Full House**

**All Together Now!/ Belchathon**

"Hey Splodyhead, got any threes."

"Nope."

Our blue furred hero Stitch, was succumbing to a threat to all experiment kind, that no force is strong enough to fend off from. Boredom. Ever since Lilo started school Stitch never got to see her like he wanted to. So now Stitch was sitting in a tree house with four of his cousins, playing goldfish. He was glad when Sparky & Splodyhead came over, which was understandable since they work night shifts, but Slushy that was a different story.

"Hey Slushy can I ask you something?"

Slushy sighed and grabbed a card from the deck and put it in his hands.

"Shoot."

"Well how come you're here? I thought you had a job at the shaved ice stall with Dupe."

"Oh that, I got fired." Slushy replied not even looking up from his hand.

All the other experiments looked at him, eyebrows arched. They knew Slushy, and Slushy always had some trouble in store for anybody in contact. Like that time he went to the airport and froze every ones feet to the ground. Or when he tricked Stitch into think that there was coconut cake in a pool, then freezing it. Or when he took Sparky's lighthouse bulb and use it to form his own night club. Overall Slushy did something very, very stupid.

"Slushy, what stupid life threatening thing you did to a civilian today. You better not be scaring the elderly again. Nani already has enough calls complaining about a blue koala and 15 heart attacks."

Slushy grinned and put his arm around Stitch.

"Relax Stitch, that was months ago."

"Actually Slushy," Sparky interrupting. " That happened _**yesterday**_."

"Shut up. As I was saying this time I was minding my own business at my job that I get no pay from. Which kind of sucks, anyways this fat ugly pimple-faced kid wit braces came up to the stall. Now when I saw him a tried not to insult his repulsiveness as much as I could."

Splodyhead rolled his eyes.

"Yeah instead of insulting him, you implied it by oh-I don't know writing a note to Dupe that says DAMN! THAT'S ONE UGLY ASS KID! Which the kid actually hears because Dupe always reads aloud."

"Yeah so anyway I wrote this not to Dupe that sai-wait how did you know that I did that, you weren't even there."

"Slushy it's you. We all know you would do something outrageous as that."

Slushy frowned.

"Yeah whatever I'm telling the story here Splodyhead so shut up. Where was I oh yeah, so then the kid starts getting mad at me aand then starts insulting me calling me a stupid, ugly animal. Then he has the nerve to demand 3 shave ices and then starts ordering me around. So then I said I really think you should lay off the shaved ice. For no reason he got mad at me."

Everyone rolled their eyes.

"He then threw a temper tantrum like some 5 year old and spit in my face."

Stitch sighed already bored from Slushy's story.

"So then what did you do?"

"I simple poured all the blueberry syrup on him, froze him, threw the bucket on him and danced on his head. Then my boss came out and got mad at me, how was I supposed to know it was his son. Anyways to make a long story short-"

"Which you finally needed to do." Splodyhead replied sarcastically.

Slushy glared at Splodyhead.

"I got fired cause I attacked the bosses kid."

Stitch threw his cards up in the air angrily.

"Great now that you're done I'm going to see Jumba. Maybe he's doing something less boring!"

Stitch then stomped out of the treehouse, leaving his cousins to look and shrug at each other. They then followed Stitch as he did have a good point. They found Jumba with his computer, special binoculars and a slice of coconut cake. On top of a tree looking into Nani's room.

Stitch & Splodyhead climbed up next to him, Sparky flew up and Slushy made a path of ice next to Jumba.

"Hey Jumba! What are you doing?"

"Shhh. 626 must be quiet I am watching experiment mating cycle with 248 and 613."

Slushy smirked.

"Yaarp and Belle getting busy, snowcone anyone?"

Sparky frowned at Jumba and flew in front of him.

"221 what is it you are wanting?"

"Don't you think you're invading their privacy!

"Yeas, but is for research. Why what is problem?"

"The problem is who has a camera."

"Here." Slushy said tossing Sparky a camera while licking a snowcone and watching Yaarp and Belle make out.

"I regret asking but why do you carry this around?"

Slushy shrugged, taking about out of a cookie.

Splodyhead wiped a bead of sweat on his head and started coughing. Sparky looked at him like he was crazy.

"What's the matter with you!"

"'Cough' 'Cough' Nothing... Nothing...for a second there I though you were going to go mushy on us."

"Pfft. As if you know me I live for blackmail, tearing relationships apart, adrenaline and the rush that happens when said reltionship breaks apart as in one right now in three, two, one."

Stitch now catching scent of Jumba's coconut cake started yelling and screaming Yaarp and Belle stopped making out and looked out of the window and blushed heavily .Stitch continued to go crazy, he pushed Jumba of the branch and was about to get the coconut cake when the branch snapped. Stitch and Splodyhead plummeted toward the ground hitting it hard. Stitch rubbed his head looking up.

"Yes! The cake has'nt landed yet there's still a chance!"

Just then like karma the cake fell and splattered against the ground inches before Stitch's face. Stitch's face fell, he then started crying and rolling around the grass in circles, while Slushy laughed from above. Someone then tapped him on the shoulder.

"Hmm."

Belle was right there smoke coming out of her nose.

"SHIT!"

**Inside the house**

"Nani! I'm home school was terrible, I'm going to find Stitch so we can play!"

Nani came out from the kitchen holding a spoon.

"Oh no you don't you go outside and tell Stitch the mess he made in the kitchen."

Lilo rolled her eyes at that same exact moment she was opening the door, Slushy came crashing through the house headfirst, screaming. Yaarp came rushing down the stairs. Slushy staggered from the rubble, his lip swollen, his eye black and one of his spike on the back of his head was gone. Slushy grabbed Yaarp angrily.

"Yaarp control your woman! NOW!"

Unfortunately for Slushy Belle saw this, and she thought that he was attacking her boyfriend.

"I'm sorry Slushy there's nothing I can do at this point. When a female experiment gets mad there's nothing you can possibly do to stop them."

"I don't care Yaarp DO SOMETHING! Look she even ate a piece off my head!"

Slushy leaned his head down to show Yaarp two of his spikes. Slushy then sniffed.

"And that was my favorite spike. Anyways do something! I'm scared, I'm so scared I might vomit."

No reply.

"SAY SOMETHING!"

At this point Belle was right behind Slushy, her fur was redder than Leroy's and she could probably breathe fire.

".!" Belle said through restrained growls.

Slushy blank-faced released his grip from Yaarp, he then started to sweat, which of course froze into ice cubes.

"Okay he's down, now we're all happy so no need for violen-AHHH!"

Belle jumped and started biting Slushy on the head, Slushy frantically ran outside putting yet another hole in the house. Lilo, meanwhile was trying to break Stitch out of his depression, to no avail. Jumba had sneakily left to his lab leaving Sparky and Splodyhead alone. Sparky getting an evil idea in his head shocked Splodyhead painfully and raced off into the forest. At this moment Nani heard the commotion.

"What's going on out th-WHAT THE HELL!"

Everyone froze, except Belle who was still gnawing on Slushy's head. At this point no spikes were on his head. Nani growled in anger and proceeded to kick the nearest thing, Yaarp. Poor Yaarp was sent flying into the pond landing with a big splash. Good thing Belle didn't see that. "Oh come on! Give me a break!"

Nani took a deep breath calming down immensly.

"Alright it's okay Nani don't panic, we can fix this. Lilo go get Jumba and tell him to bring some tools!"

Lilo then dragged the unwilling Stitch towards the lab.

Suddenly Sparky came rushing out of the forest laughing wildly with a furious Splodyhead on his tail. Sparky blew a raspberry at Splodyhead, angering him even more. Splodyhead tried to blast Sparky, but Sparky dodged at the last minute. The blast traveled on and hit...the Pelekai house, or the remains. I don't know since all I see his rubble. You know this is the worst thing ever.

Nani watched as the the little remains of her house vaporized into nothing. At first she was silent, then her face contorted into anger, then rage, then fury, until finally. "!"

Nani screamed louder than Yaarp and Belle combined.

"Every man for themselves!" Sparky yelled running into the bushes, Splodyhead & Belle following suit. Slushy sat on the ground in a daze. Slushy then realized that Belle was gone.

"Yes I'm free! I have survived! I've won! I'm the best around! No one's gonna ever keep me down!" Slushy sang not noticing Nani's approaching shadow starting to loom over him.

When Slushy did it was too late. Nani lifted up her foot and started stomping on Slushy, breaking him to pieces. When Slushy was smashed into pieces too small to split apart, Nani started jumping on the pieces on the ground.

_"Crushed and broken beneath a woman's foot. Yep, I'm done here."_

Slushy melted and sank through the ground, he then traveled underground finally coming back up and reforming next to Sparky and Splodyhead.

"Dude what happened to you?" Splodyhead asked.

Slushy looked at him wearily, he had scratches everywhere, he had a dent in his head, he was bald and he only head one arm.

"I don't want to talk about it. Hold on a sec."

Slushy grunted and then released a yell, all his scars were gone, also the dent in his head reformed, all except his spikes."

Sparky was quick to notice.

"Hey what happened to your triangle things on the back of your head."

Slushy glared at him distastefully.

"Don't you remember when you broke them off the first time, they take three months to grow, cause our creator wanted to have one part of my body that didn't act like ice. If he did, it would have only taken ten minutes."

Sparky looked at Splodyhead who shrugged. Yaarp then came running full speed, he came to a halt in front of Splodyhead, huffing and puffing.

"Whoo. That run took longer than I thought. Hey guys what's up!"

"Uh Yaarp..."

"Yeah Splodyhead."

"Why didn't you just bounce here on your tail. You know hippity-hop real fast."

Yaarp scratched his head confused.

"I really don't know. Oh wow! I must have hit that rock harder than I thought!"

"AHH! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!"

Slushy extended his arm, morphing his hand into a giant fist. A few seconds later Yaarp was whooshing through forest finally hitting a rock and falling into the pond, making bubbles.

"Enjoy the walk back up! Bitch!" Slushy yelled into the forest.

"You know you have a very bad potty-mouth." Splodyhead chuckled.

"Shut up. I don't need any lip from a guy who uses flaming snot as a weapon."

Slushy then walked off.

"F*ck you, you douchebag."

**15 minutes later**

"...and that's why this is your new home!" Jumba said pointing towards a big house.

"Who would have known Nani would actually kick you out Stitch." Sparky said patting Stitch on the back.

Stitch sighed, still depressed. Splodyhead raised his hand.

"Question 619?"

"Um, I get why we're here but why are Bonnie, Clyde and Angel are here?"

"We're on parole and we need a place to crash. You got a problem with it snot face."

"Why do you guys always make fun of my nose hole! Anyways and you Angel?"

"'Scoff' I'm not going to miss out on a chance to live with my booji boo."

Slushy sulked angrily.

"Great if you need me I'll be in my room."

Everyone watched as Slushy stomped into the house, slamming the door breaking it off it's hinges. the the door then automatically fixed itself.

"Nice."

Just then someones stomach started rumbling. Everyone looked at Jumba, who put his hands up defensively.

"What was'nt me."

The rumbling came back again this time, louder and more lengthy. Yaarp blushed, embarrassed.

"Heh-heh I guess I did'nt have anything for breakfast."

Angel smiled and hugged Yaarp.

"That's okay little cuz, I'll fix up everyone some breakfast!"

"Actually I'm older than you."

Angel dropped Yaarp and her face went flat.

"Thanks you just ruined the moment."

Later inside the experiment house everyone was eating around the table. Stitch had a huge slice of coconut, with a thermos of coffee. Sparky had a bunch of batteries on his place and some motor oil. Splodyhead had extremely burnt toast with some very piping hot coffee. Yaarp & Belle had peanut butter sandwiches with some milk. Bonnie had sausage, waffles and a biscuit with soda. Clyde basically had everything everybody else had except the toast, scalding hot coffee, batteries and motor oil. Angel had a simple plate of waffles and milk.

"'BURP!' Man that hits the spot!" Clype said stretching his arms.

Angel had other thoughts though.

"Eww Clyde, don't you have manners. I'm pretty sure nobody else likes you belching like that. Right guys!"

"Actually Angel..." Stitch began. "We really don't care. As a matter a fact we enjoy it! Observe! 'BBBUUUURRRRPPP!"

"Ewwwww Stitch! Cover your mouth! I mean sure we pick our noses with our tongues-"

"Actually Bonnie, Splodyhead and Slushy can't." Sparky interrupted rudely.

"Really? How come."

"Well Bonnie for obvious reasons, her nose is too small. Splodyhead burns himself every time he tries & Slushy is the funniest."

"What? What happens when Slushy tries?"

"His-His-His tongue gets stuck in his nose! I remember the first time he tried it was hilarious! Jumba ended up having to do surgery on his tongue to remove it."

Everyone busted out laughing, spitting out various liquids, holding their stomachs in pain. Angel wiped a tear from her eye.

"Screw you guys!" Slushy yelled from upstairs."

"Anyways back to the matter at hand, the point is that some times table manners are important!"

Sparky scoffed.

"Heh yeah right watch me." Sparky belched right in Angel's face and blew that gas into her nostrils. Angel covered her nose and her eyes started to water.

"Sparky you need to brush, your breath smells like corrosive batteries and motor oil.

Splodyhead not wanting to be left out belched to covering the whole room in a smokescreen.

" 'Cough'. 'Cough'. Memo to Stitch never give Splodyhead soda."

"You guys are nasty you'll never find any femal experiments burping like that."

Just then as if some mystical force was out to prove her wrong Bonnie belched louder than any of the guys.

" Your point was..." Stitch began.

Angel just frowned, Bonnie picked her tooth with a toothpick, leaning back in her chair holding her head with her hand.

"You Angel you might be right, Bonnie definitely isn't a female!" Splodyhead laughed, everyone else joining in

One minute Splodyhead was fine the next his whole face was caved in as Bonnie angrily raised a fist at him.

"Next time your gonna be inside out!"

Yaarp and Belle were still laughing, still rolling on the floor. Slushy came downstairs wearing a black hoody and small blue jeans, small bumps were forming on the back of his head. Slushy grabbed a soda from the fridge. Slushy then noticed the stares everyone was giving him. Slushy slammed the fridge door.

"What are you all looking at!"

"Where did you get those clothes?" Stitch asked.

"Go up into your rooms! Maybe you'll find some in your closet now leave me alone!"

Slushy was about to leave but as he passed Yaarp & Belle. The couple simultaneously belched, the force was too great, Slushy's body shattered to pieces. Splodyhead's head imploded again , Stitch & Angel fainted from ear pain. Sparky started flying crazily , Bonnie and Clyde started shouting expletives at them. One of Slushy's spikes flew out of Belle's mouth. Slushy reformed, he was now fuming. He was about to yell at Yaarp, but he stomped upstairs and slammed the door.

"What's his problem?" Bonnie asked.

Everyone just shrugged.

"Anyways let's go and look at the rooms upstairs!"Angel said cheerfully dragging Stitch.

Everybody else soon followed suit.

* * *

_**(A/N: Finally! I got that off my chest! Hope I get lots of reviews! Next chapter we're going to explore the house! Later!)**_


End file.
